Beneath the Stars
by SheOfAnarchy
Summary: Edward and Bella were high school sweethearts, but something happened. Fast forward five years later where they'll be meeting for the first time since that night. Rated M for future lemons and language. HEA. ExB, AxJ, RxEm.
1. Chapter 1

**It's been a long time since I've written a fanfic, so forgive me for typos.**

 **Hope you guys like this one.  
**

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Hi, my name is Isabella Swan and I would like to personally welcome you to my hell. Well, that is what I will say when this airplane touches down in Seattle. I pulled in a deep breath as I leaned my forehead against the cold oval window. The flight from New York City to Seattle was about a good six hours so I hoped that would be enough time for me to get myself together.

I hadn't stepped foot in Seattle since that ill-fated day, five years ago. Well, five years, four months and three days. But who's counting, right? Ugh. I was fucking pathetic. I thanked God every day for my two best friends that had always been by my side through thick and thin. The two that helped me through the worst parts of my life and always made me feel better.

I felt someone drop a duffel bag on the seat next to mine and I looked up to see Jasper stuffing Alice's big pink suitcase into the cargo space above us. I didn't even bother to ask why they were so late; I knew it was Alice's packing. I snorted quietly before tossing her a glance.

"Hey, so I don't think that's going to fit."

"Shut the fuck up, bitch. It's going to fit whether it wants to or not," Alice huffed.

I snickered quietly to myself as the elderly couple behind us glared at Alice for using such language. I saw Jasper attempted to hide a smile as he gave one last shove at the suitcase. Finally, it was stuffed in and he was able to close the lid of the space. He settled in the middle between Alice and I and fixed his seatbelt.

"You okay?" He asked, his eyes slightly narrowed as I gave a quick nod.

"Yeah, I'm good. It's just going to be weird, you know? But I'm also super glad I'll be able to see my parents in person, again. Facetime doesn't always work very well."

Jasper gave a small nod before tossing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer to his body. I leaned my head on his shoulder as I blew out a sigh. The next couple of days were going to be a disaster, I could already feel it.

I closed my eyes as I felt the plane roar to life and then start moving. I always hated the way it felt when the plane left the runway and then when it descended. Jasper lifted the arm rest that was between us and pulled me close. I snuggled into his side and even pulled my feet up. And just like that, I was too comfortable to stay awake.

 _*Flashback*_

 _Edward was going to be fucking ecstatic. I grinned to myself as I held the acceptance letter to Harvard in my hands. We had started freaking out when he had gotten his letter first. Edward was a straight A student and was in multiple sports. He was probably the smartest in our grade and I knew his letter would be an acceptance. To say I was surprised when mine was too, was an understatement._

 _It was the week after prom so naturally, there were parties being thrown almost every night. All the seniors were ready for graduation and it was less than a week away. Tonight, Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie was throwing a party down at the beach, complete with kegs and bonfires. Now, a bunch of drunk teenagers around fire on a beach surrounded by trees? Yeah, that was literally a recipe for disaster._

 _I snorted to myself quietly as I pulled on a pair of dark high-waisted jeans and a flowery crop top, complete with my black and white converse. My hair was tousled dry, which meant it was wavy and looked okay. It was dark outside anyway, so I wasn't really worried about my appearance. There wasn't anyone that I had to look good for, besides Edward. And he told me I always looked good. Though, sometimes I didn't believe him._

 _I debated on whether or not I should take the Harvard letter with me, but I didn't want it getting lost amidst all the celebrating. I set it near the acceptance letter for NYU, glancing back and forth between the two. I hadn't even thought about any other school aside from Harvard, because that's where Edward was going. And yes, I was going to be /that/ chick that followed her man. But what else was I going to do? He was the love of my life._

 _My parents had wanted me to apply for NYU, because it was where they had gone to college. I had given up the arguing and then applied just to get them off my back. Imagine my surprise when I learned the school accepted me. I hadn't told my parents yet. Well, anyone really. No one but they knew about my applying for NYU and it was going to stay that way. I got into Harvard. That was all that mattered._

 _Alice swung by and picked me up for the beach party. Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and Jasper were already there. Rosalie was the third musketeer of our girl group and Emmett was her boyfriend and Edward's older brother. I was sure they were already drunk or half-way there. Everyone had worked so damn hard this year to get to where they wanted to be and there was no one that could stop their celebrating._

 _After reading the contents of the letter from Harvard, I was too excited to keep it to myself. I had to tell Alice. Alice's squeal literally hurt my eardrums; I had to cover my ears while I laughed. I forced her to keep it to herself just until I told Edward. I wanted him to be the first, but Alice was my best friend and if Rose were with us, I would have told her too._

 _When we reached the parking lot of the beach, Alice pulled her car into one nearest the entrance and we both got out. She went to find beer and I went in search of Edward. Along the way to find Edward, I found Rosalie, pretending to care about whatever Jessica Stanley was saying. As soon as she saw me, her eyes lit up and she ran over to me. I refrained from laughing out loud at Jessica's facial expression as Rose and I kissed cheeks._

 _"Bella! I was wondering when you'd show up. Where's the pixie?" Rose had a drink in her hand and while I could smell the alcohol emanating from her breath, I wasn't sure if she was drunk or not. She never slurred her words._

 _I pointed with my thumb behind me. "She's somewhere there, looking for a drink."_

 _Rose dumped the contents of the red solo cup into a nearby grass patch and muttered quietly. "This shit is cheap. I wonder where the real liquor is."_

 _We walked slowly down the length of the beach, passing a few classmates and strangers who'd decided to crash our party. I still didn't see Edward anywhere, but Rose was sure he at the end with Emmett. Shortly after, we found Emmett, but still no sign of Edward. I groaned in frustration and pulled out my phone. I had sent him a few texts earlier, inquiring about his location, but still received nothing. I slid my phone back in my pocket as Mike Newton limped over to our little group._

 _"Bella! Glad you made it." He was quiet when he spoke, wincing ever so slightly as he looked down at his left leg._

 _"Hey. What happened to your leg?" I tilted my head as I glanced down at his leg._

 _"Shit, Newton! Did you try to do that cliff jumping shit?" Emmett's voice boomed over us, my head shaking in amusement._

 _Rose whacked the side of his bicep as she pointed to Mike. "He's not wet, so obviously not."_

 _Mike grimaced before speaking. "Nah, I tripped over a fucking log while I was talking to Edward."_

 _My face lit up with excitement as I heard my man's name. I asked Mike where he'd last left him and then thanked him, the three of us heading in said direction. Flashlights were being used all around us as people looked for their friends and I could only hope Edward hadn't moved from where Mike had said he was. We heard giggling coming from a small clearing in the trees and headed for that direction. Emmett switched from his flashlight to his camera so that he could take pictures of whichever couple was in the trees. Rose and I rolled our eyes as we took a tentative step into the trees. We came to a complete stop when we saw a guy sitting on a log, a blonde in his lap. You could clearly see her tongue was down his throat and I grimaced. I was just about to clear my throat and ask if they'd seen Edward when the blonde pulled back and that familiar head of bronze shown through in the beam of the flashlight._

 _I was frozen in place, I couldn't move. I watched as Edward pushed Tanya off his lap and onto the ground, wiping his lips with the back of his hand._

 _"Bella! Bella, it's not what you think," Edward voiced with a touch of guilt._

 _His words were a bit slurred and he wobbled a bit as he stood up. All I could do was stare. The man that I had been with for the past three years had just cheated on me in front of my very eyes. The one that I had called the love of my life. The one who I told I loved him every day since sophomore year. The one that had told me he loved me and showed it, too._

 _All I could feel were the tears that had started streaming down my face and my heart breaking into a million little pieces. When I finally came out of shock, all I heard was Rose's yelling and Edward's grunting. I blinked to clear my sight and saw as Emmett had Edward in a chokehold, up against a tree. I couldn't deal with that, right then. So I did what any coward would do. I ran. I turned on my heel and ran to where Alice had parked her car and hoped she was still in that area. The tears were free and I didn't care who saw me. I didn't give a fuck about anything then. I just wanted to go home._

 _Alice, thankfully, was hanging out by her car with some guy named Paul. I knew her car would be unlocked, so I slid into the passenger's seat and sobbed into my hands. Seconds later, I felt Alice's hands on my shoulder, asking me what's wrong and what had happened. Just then, she received a phone call from Rose telling her exactly what went down and then the car went quiet. I felt her arms holding me tightly against her small frame as mine was wracked with sobs. Alice didn't say anything else after that and just let me cry it out._

 _She drove me home in silence and walked with me into my house. As I made my way upstairs quietly, she went into the living room, where my parents were watching a movie. I was sure she told them what went down, as both of my parents rushed into my bedroom. An hour later, I had two suitcases packed and half of my room was empty._

 _Was I a coward? Yeah. Did I care? Absolutely not._

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 ** _What do you guys think so far? Should I continue or just stop right now? Let me know._**

 ** _xoxo_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! Hope you all had an awesome Turkey day!**

 **Sorry for the delay. Aside** **from the holiday and work, I've been so busy. But here's chapter two.**

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The air was much cleaner in Seattle than it was in New York City. I inhaled deeply as I stepped outside of the airport, pulling my suitcase along behind me. I had missed Seattle so damn much and I finally realized how much of an idiot I was for letting one damn person ruin my life.

The teenage years were meant for having fun and falling in and out love multiple times. My dumbass decided to stick to one guy and look where that got me. I refrained from rolling my eyes at my thoughts and shook my head lightly. I needed to get a grip on myself.

Loud honking made me look up to see Rose grinning through the window of her car.

"Hey bitches!" She yelled.

Alice squealed from beside me and ran toward the car, an airport employee helping to bring her bags over. I turned toward Jasper with a cocked brow and saw him shrug in return. Oh well.

"What Alice wants, Alice gets," Jasper said. I laughed quietly before heading over to the car to give Rose a big hug.

"I've missed you so much," she sniffled. I felt the tears, before they blurred my vision, as I hugged her tightly.

"I missed you too, Rosie. So damn much."

"Aw!" Alice's voice was so loud as she hugged both Rose and I, tears in her eyes. "The bitches are back!"

A laugh left my lips as I let go of Rose to let Jasper have his turn. Two minutes later, our bags were all set inside the trunk and we were ready to head to the house. On the ride, we talked about things we might have missed during our weekly phone and video calls and also about the wedding planning. I was super glad I got enough sleep on the plane because I knew once we arrived, we would have long days and even longer nights.

Rose started telling us about the DIY projects she was attempting from instructions on the internet. Alice vetoed those as soon as the words left Rose's lips and I had to laugh. But when she mentioned Edward, the entire car went quiet.

"He, uh, helps out with the projects and I think it looks great. He has a great eye for detail, you know." Rose's tone almost made her sound apologetic for bringing him up in the first place. I couldn't blame her, honestly.

I didn't have a problem with anyone talking about him, but when it was time to come face-to-face with him, then we'd have a slight problem. I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to Rose's proposition to be her maid of honor. Alice and I would be sharing the title and I was honored to even be one of Rose's closest friends in the first place.

Minutes passed by while everyone conversed, but all I did was stare at the window, lost in my thoughts. They were all mostly 'what ifs' but I knew I couldn't dwell on them. I needed to be level headed and clear minded for what was to come, especially around Edward. I couldn't lose focus or control of my feelings. I needed everything to be perfect for Rose. I would never dream of messing up her big day.

The car came to a stop at the same house the Cullens had lived in for years. The house was fully white and was Victorian-styled. Large windows graced each room within and in the backyard, I was sure a garden and even a pool. It had been a while – obviously – and Carlisle had always talked about removing the pool since no one used it. I wondered if he did.

I stepped out the car and breathed in deeply. It was so weird being back, I thought, as I moved my right foot against the gravel in the driveway. Suddenly, I heard the front door open and I froze. Fuck. I really hoped it was someone other than Edward. I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard Emmett's booming laugh and a squeal, which I could only assume was Alice's. I turned to see Emmett put Alice down and give Jasper a hug and a slap on the back. He looked around before making eye contact with me over the car. His grin widened like a kid who just saw his favorite candy. Emmett literally bounced over to me and swooped me up in a hug, his biceps suffocating me as I hugged him in return.

"Emmett! Are you trying to kill her?!" Esme's voice was muffled to me as I tried to get a breath in.

I felt a chuckle reverberate through Emmett's muscular body before he let me go, my feet touching the gravel softly. I inhaled a much needed breath before slowly exhaling, flashing Emmett a small smile.

"I missed you too, buddy."

Shit. I was about to cry again and I knew Emmett was, too. He and I blinked multiple times to get our visions to clear, but as soon as Esme wrapped her arms around me, I lost it. I broke down as I wrapped my arms around her neck, my tears soaking her shoulder.

"Shhh, sweetheart. It's okay," she cooed as she ran a hand down my hair, soothing me.

I didn't even know what to say. I never said anything to them before I left for New York and that made me feel so bad for years. I never even thought to call them either because there was a big chance Edward would answer.

I pulled back just as Carlisle came over and held us both in his embrace.

"Bella, we've missed you so much." He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and gave me a small smile.

I cleared my throat to speak but before I could open my mouth, Carlisle spoke.

"We know why you did it, darling. There's no reason to apologize. We love you the same. Don't worry about anything."

I wiped my tears with the back of my hands as I returned both of their smiles, sniffling.

"I hope you guys can forgive me for leaving without a word."

Esme patted my cheek gently before speaking. "We were never upset at you, Bella, so there's no need for forgiveness. Rosalie told us what happened. Now, let's go inside and get you all settled in."

Even though the three of us had been to this house many times in the past, we were all still hesitant to walk in. I could sense it from Alice and Jasper.

That night, all those years ago, Alice and Rosalie had fought Edward. Well, more like punches and slaps. Emmett was the one who had given him a black eye and Jasper just stood and watched. Edward and Jasper were a lot closer than Edward and his brother. So, Jasper felt that violence wasn't going to make Edward feel for what he did. He decided to leave with Alice to New York without a word, effectively ending their long friendship.

Alice hooked her arm through mine and sent a small smile my way as she inclined her head toward the house. I gave her a small nod before slowly walking to the front door.

 _Please, God. Don't let him be home right now._

I held my breath as Alice walked through the threshold first, me second and then Jasper third. It was empty, save for us. Carlisle and Emmett brought in our suitcases and Rose and Esme followed in behind them. I shakily let out the breath as Rose proceeded to show us all where we would be residing for the rest of the trip. Suddenly, three weeks at home, by myself, sounded a lot better than three weeks in a house with Edward. Though, I kind of hoped he had gotten his own place by now. I didn't dare ask though. I didn't want to be the one to bring him up.

As Rose left us to our own devices, she and Alice went down to the living room to go over wedding ideas and plans. Jasper decided to take a nap and I was just wanting to get my mind off of my current situation. Work was the best way to do that because while I was in the zone, that was the only thing that occupied my mind.

Fishing the laptop out of the suitcase and then out of its case, I sat on the bed, up against the headboard with the laptop in my lap. Working at an insurance office sure did have its perks. Next to the pay, I loved working from home whenever I wanted. For this trip, I didn't even have to lie to my boss. She easily approved the trip with a wave of her hand and a grin. She'd send me the information in an encrypted email and then I'd get to work. Easy-peasy. Powering the laptop on, I realized I didn't have the WIFI or its password. I huffed before texting Rose and asking, because I was too lazy to go downstairs. She quickly texted back, and I sent her a smiley emoji in response before getting to work.

An hour later, my eyes were starting to droop due to tiredness and I tried to hold back a yawn. I was almost finished with one of the cases I was working and I wanted to send it to my boss before I took a nap. I needed a drink. Setting the laptop on the bed beside me, I slid off the bed and padded into the hallway, toward the stairs.

My head was down so I didn't really realize there was someone blocking my way until I was at the top of the staircase. I frowned before lifting my head a tad. Lo and behold, the one fucking person that I didn't want to run into. My jaw dropped as my gaze met those curious green eyes for the first time in five years. How I had longed to be this close in proximity to him again. Well, at least for the first year since moving to New York. After I was able to get him out of my mind and heart, it was easy to not want him. But seeing him in person again, I felt like all those thoughts had left my mind.

"Bella." His voice was still as I remembered; soft and velvety.

I closed my eyes and willed the tears away, but luck was just not on my side today. I could feel his gaze on me as a tear escaped, my hand lifting to wipe it away. Before I could, though, I felt his thumb on my cheek.

My eyes shot open in anger, my brows furrowing and my voice laced with venom.

"Don't touch me."

He shot me an apologetic glance and opened his mouth to speak, but I shoved past him and headed straight for the front door, needing some air. I ignored all of the curious looks and calls as I pulled the door open and slammed it behind me, walking out into the crisp fall air with nothing but jeans, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and socks.

All of the feelings and thoughts I had suppressed all of those years ago were flooding back to me at full force. I felt the heartbreak and the loneliness again. The number of headaches I had from crying and being dehydrated from it. It literally felt like I was being hit by a freight train.

A sob left my lips as I dropped to my knees. And here I thought I could tough it out and be able to keep calm through it all. I hadn't even been in the house for five hours yet and I already wanted to leave. Seattle had plenty of hotels, but I knew Esme and Rosalie would never let me. Not while I was suffering a breakdown once again.

Seeing Edward made me realize the amount of hate I had for him. But at the same time, there was a piece of my heart that still yearned for him. He was my first love and my first everything.

I breathed in the cold air before slowly exhaling to calm my nerves. Was I supposed to be this emotional? Hadn't I pushed him completely out of my life?

So why was I still crying?

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 **Leave me some love!**

 **Also, there will probably be a couple of days in between each chapter. Mostly because work has me by the balls. *Insert eye-roll here.***

 **xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! 20 days till Christmas! Woo!**

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During my breakdown, Alice and Rosalie had joined me out in the cold, covering me in what I assumed was Emmett's jacket. It was like a dress on me and I appreciated the girls for that. It was fucking cold. In the house, I could hear Emmett yelling, but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Let it out, Bella," Rose murmured softly as she rubbed my back gently.

I felt like I was all cried out. All that was left was dried up tears on my cheeks, making my face feel tight. I blew out a sigh and pulled the jacket closed, lifting my head up to gaze at the night sky.

"I'm okay. It was just… seeing him." I shook my head as Alice leaned hers against my shoulder, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"He wasn't even supposed to be here. We told him to find somewhere to stay," Rose said.

My head whipped around to gaze at Rose, catching her icy blue stare.

"Rose, how can you kick him out and make him stay somewhere else just because I came to visit? That's not right." I shook my head as I sniffled, feeling bad.

I didn't want Edward to feel like he'd been alienated from his family just because I came to town. Ugh. I needed to woman up and stop getting so emotional over him. I was over him and had been for the last four years. The first year in New York was a hard one, but I had made it through.

I just needed.. closure, I guess. I needed him to explain what I saw. And even though I couldn't stand the sight of him right now, I couldn't help but to feel some type of way about the fact that he was just a few feet away from me.

Fuck. What was wrong with me? How can I hate him one minute and want to be with him the next? This was getting too complicated. I released another sigh before tuning back in to Rose. I hadn't even noticed she was speaking.

"I'm sorry, I was lost in my thoughts," I apologized softly.

Rose shot me back a small smile before repeating what she'd said earlier. "I told you before that I would make sure you were comfortable. He didn't have any problem with it, but he said he forgot his charger and he'd thought you all would arrive later."

I nodded in response before patting Alice's shoulder, wanting her to release her grip. She let up and moved away an inch, pulling her own jacket tighter.

"You guys, I think what I need is just closure.." I trailed off, avoiding eye contact with either one of them.

"Really?" Alice squeaked as Rose said, "I think you're right."

Alice looked between us before slowly nodding her head in agreement. "Yeah, I think you do, Bells. You need to know why it happened and what he's going to do now that you're here. I think you both need to work it out in order to be civil enough for the wedding."

I watched as Rose also gave a nod. "She's right. You don't have to be friends, but at least you'll know everything."

It was at that moment that I had realized I never asked anyone if they knew what happened that night. I jumped on a flight to New York, but Alice and Jasper had come days later. I wanted to ask in New York, so many times, but I knew if I wanted to get over him, I had to forget about him.

"Rose, do you know what happened that night?"

She bit her lip before giving a slow nod, my eyes widening.

"But Bella, you never asked, and I didn't want to bring it up. But I also know it's probably best if Edward tells you himself. I don't want to be the one to tell you. Besides, it felt good to punch him in the face."

She was right; I never asked. I flashed her a small smile before taking a deep breath.

"Bella?" Alice's voice was soft and that brought my head up to meet her gaze. "Did you want to speak with him now?"

Did I want to? I groaned out loud, lifting my hands to drop my head in my palms.

"Bella, you don't have to," Rose whispered as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

I sniffled again before shaking my head. "Rose, I have to or else I'll always think of him as a cheater."

Alice moved closer and pulled me into a hug. "We'll be right inside. I'll send him out."

"Only because you'll probably yell at him first," Rose replied before rolling her eyes.

"You're damn right I am!" Alice huffed and turned on her heels, stomping toward the front door.

Rose and I watched her walk away and then close the door behind her as she stepped into the warm glow of the foyer. She turned back to me and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Bella, I'm proud of you for doing this, you know."

My lips turned upwards into a genuine smile as I pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you, Rose. I appreciate all that you've done for me and I hope this goes well. That way I won't have to worry about steering clear of him. If we can get things cleared up, I'll feel a lot better."

She nodded as the door opened and Edward walked out, jacket zipped up and beanie on his head, covering up his bronze locks.

Oh fuck, he looked so fucking cute. I refrained from groaning as I tried to remember the actual reason he was called outside for.

Right. Closure.

Rose glared at him on her way back into the house and he hung his head, as he took slow steps toward me. I took another deep breath and turned away, staring up at the night sky once more. I heard his footsteps against the gravel as he approached me.

I closed my eyes and slowly blew out a breath through my lips, mentally preparing myself for what was to come. I knew if I didn't do this, I'd continue to hate him, and I needed to know what happened that night. I had lost so much sleep over this and had caused Alice and Jasper to go through so much.

"It's cold," he whispered.

I couldn't help it; I laughed. I could see his head turn to look at me in bewilderment. He probably thought I was crazy.

"You want to talk about the weather? Seriously?" I turned to look at him and that's when I truly saw how he looked. There were dark circles under his eyes and it made me feel as if he hadn't slept in years. Even his cheeks were a bit hollowed in.

My expression quickly changed to a frown as he fully turned to face me.

"Bella, please. Let me explain what happened that night," he pleaded.

That's why you're here, I thought. Alice wouldn't have let him come within inches of me if I didn't want him to explain. He wouldn't have even made it to the door.

I turned on my heel and made way for the porch steps, sitting on the second stair. I lifted my head to see his expression switch from sad to hopeful. He thought I was going to go back inside and not hear him out.

"That's why I called you out here, Edward." Even his name was so weird to say out loud.

I leaned against the rail as he quickly walked over and sat on the first step, his body facing me completely. He took a deep breath before looking at me, those green eyes filled with shame and sadness.

"That night, I'd had too much to drink. I was waiting for you and Alice to arrive, but I had a few drinks before. When I heard Tyler say he saw Alice's car pull up to the lot, I left him at the edge of the rocks and started walking toward the parking lot. Well, it was more like stumbling."

He stopped and moved an inch closer and when he spoke, I could hear the sincerity in his voice.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I know I should have stopped drinking, but I was young and stupid. You know how we were."

I gave him the smallest of nods before he continued.

"I was halfway down the beach when Tanya and Mike caught up to me. We went to sit on a log in a small clearing about two feet into the woods. We chatted for a bit and then Mike left us, but not before he tripped over a small branch that was in front of us."

I remembered that little detail so I knew he was telling the truth. Well, I knew he would, anyway. He wouldn't dare to lie to me at this point. I was sure, even though it had been five years, he knew how I was. Especially with liars.

He cleared his throat, his voice barely a whisper this time around.

"The next minute, sh-she was on me and I didn't even have the time to.. register what was happening." He slowly shook his head and to me, it seemed he wasn't able to find the words to continue. I didn't care.

"Continue." My voice was harsh but, in my opinion, he deserved it.

He looked like he was about to cry and I felt a twinge of pain.

"She kissed me, as you saw, but then I pushed her to the ground. I was going to ask her what the hell she was doing, but that's when you saw me. I swear, Bella," he whispered as he moved closer to me. "I would never do such a thing to you intentionally. I understand why you ran, Bella, but you never gave me a chance to explain."

As I looked down at him, I watched as his eyes filled with tears and how he tried so hard to blink them back. One tear did end up falling down his cheek and to see him so vulnerable, it made me tear up, too. I closed my eyes as I leaned my head against the cold rail, my tears escaping. All of the feelings I'd felt that night came rushing back and all I could do was just sit there and hoped he felt the same as I.

"Bella, I am so sorry. Please say something," he pleaded.

I opened my eyes and wiped my tears just as he did. I had never seen him cry, so I knew he was truly sorry.

"Edward," I whispered. His glossy stare returned and he moved a step up, his hands resting gently over mine.

"I believe you, Edward. But you have to know what I felt that night. Seeing her on you and her tongue down your throat.." I turned my head as if to push the thought away.

It was the one thing that I tried not to think about for years. It was so hard.

"If I could have bleached that memory away, I would have done it so quickly." I scoffed, shaking my head.

"Bella," he started. "You don't know how good it feels to hear you say that you believe me. And I know I can't take back what I did, but I swear to you, I will make it up to you. If you let me."

He took hold of my hands and squeezed them gently.

"I've never stopped loving you, Bella. And I won't hold back on showing you how much I'm sorry."

My head whipped over to look at him, my jaw dropping in shock. Well, that was definitely something I wasn't expecting.

"What?" Did I hear him right?

"I love you, Bella. I always have and I always will. Forever."

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 **Leave me love!**

 **xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, guys! I am /so/ sorry that this is so late! Between the holidays, family and work, I have been swamped. This chapter is a bit smaller than the others, but I hope you enjoy, nonetheless.**

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My mind had been racing since that night. The night that Edward told me he still loved me and was going to do anything in his power to make up for what he did. I felt weird. It had been a week and Rose's trip to Carlisle and Esme's cabin was coming up. Every night, I'd only thought about Edward and our conversation.

We hadn't spoken since that night and he made sure he wasn't home when I was. Was that part of him making it up to me? I didn't understand. Since, then, Alice and Jasper had come to speaking terms with Edward as well. Alice still gave him looks when she thought he wasn't looking. She made it a point to let me know that every time she did it.

Apparently, everyone else had forgiven him a long time ago, but they let me have my space. Five years was a damn long time to let me have my space. I had blown up on them about that. I felt so petty after all that. I had my number changed and created a new email for myself so no one could get in touch besides Rose and my parents. Isn't that what any other girl in my place would have done, though?

I never actually told him I was sorry, though. For leaving and not letting him explain. I needed to tell him and perhaps get my fix of his face. I'd been imagining him a lot lately. My heart had truly never let go of him, even though I felt I had been wronged. Since that was cleared up as a misunderstanding, now, I felt like we should try to be together again. He told me he loved me, so wouldn't that be something that he would be alright with?

These seemed to be the only thoughts I could muster through the last couple of days. Five years without the love of my life was hard enough as is. Trying to forget him was hard and though I had succeeded for the first year, being back in Seattle was stirring up all types of feelings and thoughts. I welcomed it, though. I wanted those memories and emotions. I wanted to remember what it was like when we were together, laughing and carefree.

I wanted that again. But I knew if I broached the subject with Edward, it would probably be the most awkward situation ever. We would start slow, of course. Get to know each other all over again. Five years can really change someone. Shit, even a year is sufficient enough for someone who wants change.

I blew out a sigh as I flopped back on my bed. Packing was stressful enough without Alice and Rose throwing every damn piece of clothing they wanted me to wear on the bed. I was ninety-five percent positive I was laying on a lingerie set. Now, please, tell me what the hell I needed that for? I wasn't looking to get laid on this trip. Not while Edward would be in the next room, anyway.

Actually, not at all. I didn't want to get laid by anyone else but him. Maybe it was just me being optimistic, but I tossed the lingerie into the suitcase, anyway.

"Alright, bitch. Get up. We don't have time for you to be lazy." Alice bounced into the room with a few more dresses on hangers.

I rolled my eyes and sat up, running a hand through my hair. As I glanced toward her, I caught sight of Edward walking up the stairs and heading into his room. Before I could even realize what I was doing, I stood and made my way across the room, heading for the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"I'll be back, Ali. Promise," I muttered softly as I passed her, stepping into the hall and walking the short distance to Edward's room.

I came to a stop in front of the door and took a deep breath, unsure if I should or not. Well, you only live once. My hand balled into a fist as I gently knocked on the door. I wrung my fingers together nervously as my gaze hit the floor.

The door swung open and as my eyes moved upward, I realized Edward was half-naked. Well, he had basketball shorts on and that was it. This man had a fucking body. I felt the breath get knocked out of me as my gaze continued to move up his body. His abs were well-defined, and his biceps were way bigger than they were five years ago.

"Bella?" His voice was soft and his eyes were curious as his head tilted slightly.

I cleared my throat as I averted my gaze from his body, mentally cursing myself. He knew I was starting. His lips had that crooked smirk that I loved so damn much. I rolled my eyes and tried to think of something to say.

"Whatever, I've seen better," I mumbled. Then my voice got a touch louder. "I just realized that I never apologized to you for what I did."

His face had dropped a bit at my first comment, but he regained his composure and gave a slight nod.

"Bella, please, don't. You don't have to."

I shook my head just as quickly as his words left his lips.

"Edward, please. Let me. I'm sorry for just up and leaving like I did without you explaining. I was confused and hurt, and I just wanted to get away. I know it's not an excuse, but.."

I stopped suddenly as I felt him move closer, his hand resting on the back of my head. Edward leaned forward and pressed his lips against my forehead. My lips dropped open in slight surprise as I registered his kiss.

"Bella, my love. You have nothing to apologize for, I swear. You never have to. I love you too much to hold you at fault for anything."

He flashed his signature smile at me once more and released his hold on me, heading back into the room. As the door softly clicked with the lock sliding in place, I let out my breath in a whoosh.

Fuck. That really happened.

"Damn."

I whirled around to find Alice and Rose standing in front of my bedroom door, just watching us. I rolled my eyes and headed back into the room, not saying a word to the two stalkers.

I needed to process.

"Bella, that man loves you so much." Rose said as she sat in front of me.

I released a sigh as I leaned back against the headboard of the bed, closing my eyes.

"I can see it in his eyes, B. It's true." I opened my eyes as Alice spoke, narrowing them slightly.

"I thought you still hated him?"

She gave a shrug. "I just wish he had been smart about all that shit. Besides, he could have tried harder to get into contact with you."

"Yeah, but Rose or Emmett could have told me the truth, too."

I saw Rose's face fall and I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing gently.

"I understand why you didn't, okay? I still love you both dearly. That won't ever change."

Her lips pulled upwards into a smile as she pulled me into a hug.

"Awwwwww, I want in on this!" Alice exclaimed. She hopped on the bed, pushed clothes aside and enveloped us in her embrace.

We all laughed as we fell to the side, landing on Alice.

"Alright, bitches, we got to get ready. Come on." Rose sat up first, pulling me with her.

"Ready?" I quirked a brow. "For what?"

"We are going to that new club tonight, Eclipse."

I groaned and fell back on the bed, hiding my face in Alice's side.

Needless to say, I was forced into sitting in front of Rose's vanity as they both played Bella Barbie. I took the time to think about what Edward had said and I wondered if he was going tonight, too.

I closed my eyes and just imagined what it'd be like if Edward and I were still together all this time.

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